The Amazing Race--May 3 Episode

While all the episodes have had some unexpected elements and at least some level of suspense, this episode seemed like the twistiest one yet, which I greatly enjoyed. For once, Tammy and Victor’s Chinese-speaking abilities actually did give them an advantage, which was a relief—how many times could their parents endure crying with shame and disappointment in their offspring anyway? But here’s a little tip for Victor—don’t say “I’ll let you say it this time” to your sister and then immediately talk over her like a bad echo. Either own up to your assness and take over completely or actually step aside and let her be the one to accomplish something. None of this wishy-washy in between business. Even though it’s probably best for relations between China and America that they didn’t, I was a little disappointed that the cheerleaders didn’t do the Chinese order challenge. That seemed so rife with comical rage possibilities. I was sure that Kisha and Jen would come in last by a long stretch when they were U-turned, but I underestimated the time-sucking power of getting lost. I wish they’d had a clock or timer on screen to show just how long those cheerleaders were wandering around and accosting the locals for directions. I started to think that maybe Kisha and Jen, who surprised and impressed me with their ability to handle the Chinese orders (after several hilariously translated missteps), were going to easily bypass them. But who knew that when they both ended up at the gross not-food-posing-as-food station, Jaime would uncover a superpower ability to chow down on things that should never, ever, under any circumstances, be put in any human being’s mouth to be chewed on and swallowed? That is the point in the competition where I would have politely thanked the producers and told them that they could keep their million dollars because there was no way in hell I’d crunch on a scorpion or masticate on some plump, deep fried larvae. But I digress. So there they were, sisters and cheerleaders, neck and neck for that final slot when—alack and alas!—water, that evil adversary, got the best of Jen once again and a visit to a Port-a-Potty cost them the race. I guess, as sister Kisha put it, Jen couldn’t pee on herself—or could she? I doubt anyone would have noticed under those long robes she was wearing, but I guess they weren’t willing to push it that far. I’m glad her sister doesn’t blame her (she does), and that they could finish strong (in a Port-a-Potty vs. balled up and crying by the side of a pool), though. The one disappointment in this episode was the greeter at the end. After all that excitement, all we get is some English-speaking woman in a generic white jacket? What’s up with that? Where are the acrobatists? Or someone playing an Er-hu at least? You might be hot, Host Phil, but you let me down with that one.