The Amazing Race--April 26 Episode

I kind of hate to admit it, but Tammy and Victor are starting to grow on me just a bit. Victor still has the most annoying voice ever, but they are so darn earnest and good-natured about everything—even brown-nosing the airline clerks into giving everyone else crummy seats—that it’s hard to actively dislike them anymore. To do so would feel a little like kicking an eager-to-please puppy. Fortunately, the Boring Sisters have stepped up to the plate in terms of giving me plenty to hate on. I think my favorite let-me-flaunt-my-blatant-ignorance-and-egocentricity moment was when Keisha and Jen were making fun of the blank faces the Chinese people had whenever Keisha and Jen tried to speak English to them. Airing her disgust at the native people’s inability to accommodate their lack of Chinese, Jen joked to the camera, “Yeah, they just get this blank Zombie look, like this.” I waited for her to make the face, and then realized that she was making the face, only it was the same face Jen always has—wide, blank eyes and an expression so frozen that it looks like she had an overdose of Botox. I love it when people on TV are unintentionally ironic—it’s like this awesome bonus. Jen and her sister’s complete lack of affect continues to be a stumbling block for me in terms of being able to relate to them. Even when Jen was having her meltdown about the water and crying her eyes out, Keisha’s voice when she was encouraging her to “finish strong” had about the same level of warmth and expression as the woman who asks me, “What city?” when I dial 411. My level of sympathy for Jen was also somewhat marred by the fact that I couldn’t help wondering why she didn’t just walk across the pool (she certainly seemed tall enough to) and move her arms like she was swimming the way someone I know used to do in swim class?

The foot massage scene, with its orgasmic yowls of pain, was pretty fantastic, and I actually found myself digging my knuckles into the bottom of my own bare foot at one point trying to see if it could really hurt that much. And yes, yes it could. I don’t think Jen and Keisha could have called those masseuses’ faces blank—they positively radiated sadistic glee. And while I don’t technically believe in karma, I did have to wonder if this show is an exception when the cheerleaders, who were so pumped and emotional at arriving to their destination first for the first time in this competition, were blandly informed by host Phil (looking rather hot in his zipped up, black leather jacket) that their journey was not yet over. Their faces fell flatter than a soufflé pulled out of the oven too quickly. Coming on the heels of the Cheater Brothers getting eliminated after falling behind due to their cheating ways, this gives me some small hope that every once in awhile, people do get what they really deserve. So that bit’s good, but I still kind of missed the usual local greeter at the end. Like, what—no scary ballerina girl? No dude playing flutes out of his nose? Hopefully, we’ll be back on track with that next week.